Sunday, June 30, 2013

Kaddish - Holding Paradox

What a month June has been. There are definitely items I embrace and items I release. Of course, there is so much more to come! I won't go into details because we each have our own list and I invite you to fill in the blank. I will remember...  I release or just want to forget... 

I share with you this poem about a praise hymn and a state of mind. Kaddish is multipurpose prayer used many times in several different formats in traditional services. Most people, Jewish or not, know it as the prayer we say to mourn people who have died - that is only one of its many forms. Regardless of format, Kaddish says nothing about death. It is, in my opinion, an ecstatic praise of the Divine One! It is for that reason that I see it as the path through which I learned to embrace paradox! Being about to embrace the complexity of what is so is amazingly useful when dealing with a complex world.

Let me know your thoughts. Shavua Tov (A Good Week)!

Kaddish

There is a moment that always surprises me.
It can happen at any time I am in a moment of
Sheer joy
In moments dizzy with unassisted drunkenness
My physical body and
Spiritual body merge and
I am boundless as I move with the
Incremental tide of time soaking in
sight
aroma
sound
sensation
savory note!
Ecstatic exquisite elatedness can
Unexpectedly open a window or door to
Sadness or sorrow
I wanna call my Dad or another no longer with me on this plain
I instantaneously understand the lesson of a disagreement forgotten or
I am simply able to gaze unflinchingly at the fullness of life
holding the paradox of
my joy and my sadness or grief
          my joy and the grief of others
          now a marble cake mix
And
I swaddle all with my joyous elation for
          All is bitter!
          All is sweet!
          All is Divine!

There is a moment that always surprises me.
It can happen at any time I am in a moment of
Surrender to the quarrel in my mind
Accepting what is so
          Injustice
          Sadness
          Disappointment
          New or old pain making itself known
In whatever fashion required
          Water
          No water
          Screaming
          Silence
          Longing.
(I no longer go to numbness)
It
Moves and courses through me and
Ecstatic profound sadness can
Unexpectedly open a window or door to a
Spark of joy
          My head lying in Aunt Edna’s lap
          The bad joke or pun of someone I love – totally appropriate for the moment
          The unmistakable aroma of my favorite comfort foods
The voice of the police officer saying “Are you lost, little girl?” to my four-year old self because I was lost…
I am simply able to gaze unflinchingly at the fullness of life
holding the paradox of
my sadness or grief and my joy
                    my grief and the joy of others
now a marble cake mix
And
I swaddle all with lovingkindness for
          All is bitter!
          All is sweet!
          All is Divine!

There is a moment that always surprises me, yet
I create room for the door or window to open
Every time I say Kaddish.
I stand before The Holy One, Blessed be The One,
Chanting
Honey coated words of praise!
My mouth watering with each syllable that exits my lips
Each meridian of my body opens and
I tremble as
my hands open
my heart opens
my spirit body merges with The One
And
All flows through
          All the ecstatic goodness
          All the ecstatic sadness
Weave and swirl
Into a marble cake
And
I am bound to the profoundness of totality
Chanting
Rooted love of the
Holy One, Blessed be The One
Holding
The bittersweet Divine paradox of
Living
Mind   Fully   Engaged.



(c) Copyright Sabrina Sojourner 2013